I dreamed that love would never die

My journey through finding out about my husbands pornography addiction and where it leads me.

Thursday, August 4, 2011

My tan line mocks me

I have a really nice tan this year. Last year I was pregnant and it was so hot and humid all summer that I didn't spend a whole lot of time outdoors. This year it's been hot but I want to show Quinn everything I can so we do a lot of stuff.
I have a tan line on my finger where my wedding ring was. I haven't worn it since Thursday. The tan line mocks me.
My GFF screen name mocked me but thankfully the awesome Mods there let me change that.

We've already been to a counseling session once. We have a second one setup. He is attending a sex addicts anonymous meeting tonight.
I'm pretty sure it's still not enough. I don't know if I can ever forgive him. Ever.
2 days ago I threw everything of his out on the driveway and smashed a few things. It was very satisfying. Very very satisfying.
I ripped our framed wedding invitation. I smashed the small statue thing that we bought on our honeymoon.

I feel very crazy these days. I'm up, I'm down. I'm happy, I'm sobbing. It's intense.
I've gone through just about every bad emotion you can come up with. I have no idea how I'm going to get past this. I have no idea how he and I will get past this.
Right now I'm taking care of Quinn and trying to take care of myself. I don't want to make a decision I will regret.

1 Comments:

Blogger Brandi said...

I think you need to go talk to someone yourself...Hugs!

August 4, 2011 at 1:50 PM  

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