Someone should decide for me

That's how I've felt all week. Because I apparently can't make a decision. I feel so pressured to and I'm not sure why but I still don't have a damn clue.
Every day I feel differently. I swear if I could feel the same 2 days in a row that would give me a sign that I was getting at least closer to a decision.
The biggest problem I'm facing these days is I have separation anxiety. Not so bad to the point that I can't leave the house but overnights freak me out. I've tried to have Bill stay somewhere else and I call him in the middle of the night and make him come home. I know this isn't a reason to stay with him because if it's really over then I will just have to deal with this.
Last night my friend Jerry came over and I showed him all the printouts of the stuff I found because I hadn't shown anyone that yet. It was a good thing for me to do. I needed to show someone.
Other than that I'm really working on figuring out a trial separation. I really need to do this for me to figure it out I just have to get over my anxiety about it. This weekend Bill and I are working out a plan and I am going to stick with it. Just hope that my teething child stops being a terror and starts sleeping better at night.
Oh, I also told Bill last night that if Quinn actually slept through the night I probably would have booted him out a long time ago. He's been getting up with her every night so at least for the most part I'm well rested right now.